How many people you really know? Can you predict their reactions, words or emotions? Did you know what they feel and what they think about when not a word is said? Usually we know so well only a few closest friends or relatives. The rest we perceive through the prism of our projections or imagination. Is it necessary to add that most people around us perceive us distortedly. My friend has been working as a personnel officer for many years and at every opportunity boasts of her ability to understand people. Many argue that the experience of communication and a large circle of acquaintances taught their quality to recognize “good” and “bad” people. My frame girl claims that there is a special flair, intuition, which come with experience and help to understand what this or that person costs. Unfortunately, the so -called professional flair or intuition, in fact, turn out to be simply established stereotypes in assessing the perception of people. A person looks at everyone through his own glasses of experience, templates and once drawn conclusions. Is it possible to see the essence of a new person for us through the prism of all these layers and stereotypes? What prevents us from understanding people well? Psychologists say that they know the answer to this question. According to them, it is our experience that hinders us, or rather, stereotype in the assessment of a person. For example, a person with glasses and with an open forehead seems to us more smart than the same character with bangs and without glasses. “Prefer from clothes” – we trust a person in torn jeans and a colored T -shirt than in a strict suit and with a portfolio.“You will not have a second chance to make a first impression,” is your favorite phrase of all managers and businessmen. Keep in mind that most people unconditionally trust their intuition and will relate to you depending on what impression you will make on them from the very beginning. Nevertheless, scientists have proved that 90% of them are mistaken in the primary assessment of human qualities and determining his type of activity. Prejudices and installations also prevent us from objectively perceiving a person. Remember the famous experiment when two groups of people showed a photograph of a person? The first to say that they were a brilliant scientist, and they noted the features of intelligence on his face, and the second said that it was a criminal, and each in the group noted of vicious inclinations on the appearance. Everyone was convinced of the correctness of their impressions, not realizing that they were directly dependent on the information received earlier. No wonder they say people that everyone judges by himself. Our own projections prevent us from seeing the true feelings and qualities of people. If we carefully listen to a person, then in his stories about others we will easily draw a lot about himself.“Beautiful dress”, “smart man”, “annoying” are our grades. Evaluation is also a bad assistant in the knowledge of others. By hanging shortcuts even in our own imagination, we continue to use these stereotypes, and to find out the present in a person is becoming more and more difficult. Rather, it would be possible to say: “I am pleased to look at her,” “I learn a lot next to him”, “It is difficult for me to communicate with this person now”.Sometimes our consciousness throws an interesting joke – when we cannot or do not want to notice the successes of other people or the variety of characters and classes, we simply “trim” them. “So -so”, “gray mouse”, “nothing,” – people under these labels are hidden in the card index of our thoughts, which we do not know at all. If you decide to understand human characters, pay attention to these gray areas, because each person is a unique creation!
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