We all look at life through the prism of our beliefs. Some of them formed in our childhood, others in youth, others are already in adulthood, but absolutely all of them affect us, determining our behavior and reaction in certain situations.
There are beliefs correct and false. The right ones are those that help us develop, grow as a person, build a happy relationship with people, and achieve their goals. False beliefs always lead us to regression, but the whole difficulty is that we often take our false attitudes as the only correct ones, not noticing how we slowly destroy ourselves and our lives.
HOW DOES THIS WORK?
For example, call a friend and start telling something. He somehow sluggishly answers, and then says: “Everything, I can’t say. I’ll call you back later “. If you are all right with self-esteem and beliefs, then you will think: “Something my friend is not in your mood. OK.. Let’s talk later “and switch to your affairs. But if you are a supporter of the belief that everything should be as you want, then the chain reaction of your emotions and behavior is launched: a friend did not listen to you, although you talked about something important-you feel lonely-your mood spoils-everything is driving out of hands – you are annoyed – find fault with loved ones – in the end, everyone has a spoiled mood. And the reason for everything is your false belief “everything should be the way I want”. But you react differently, then the situation would have developed differently.
Our false beliefs are our internal manipulators, since they lead us to the wrong conclusions and negative emotions – fear, anger, shame, and t. p. And sometimes these are not just emotions, but stormy destructive experiences.
Where the legs grow from?
So where do they come from – these very false attitudes?
Since we are all from childhood, most of our false beliefs also come from there. For example, they can be caused by inconsistent education, when the same misconduct of the child leads to different results. The son was stained with a new jacket or tore: once they say to him, they say, nothing terrible, weal, we will, we will fix it, and in the other – they’ll sparkle, put in a corner and read morality.
Or the daughter was rude to the teacher, and the parents of the house instead of conducting an educational conversation, they limited themselves to the meaningless “Well, what are you?.. Do not do it anymore “. In such cases, the child forms a false belief “should not be seriously treated with anything”.
Sometimes false attitudes can be imposed on us, and we, being excessively dependent on someone else’s opinion, in our personal experience, look for situations proving that the same, people are right.
For example, the battered “all men of the goats” or “all the women of the fool”. We should face two or three cases when men behaved not like a manly or women acted stupidly, how we begin to believe that folk “wisdom” of law-and this becomes our false conviction.
What it smells like?
False installations prevent us from living. They – like a broken compass, show us the wrong direction on our life path. They prevent us from developing, do not allow us to see other new possibilities in ourselves and become the reason that we devalue ourselves and relationships with people.
Everyone has false beliefs, but the 10 most common ones can be distinguished:
“Everyone should love me”-a person with such conviction is deeply sure that if someone is very significant for him does not approve his actions or refuse him, then it will be just a disaster. The beloved girl did not come on a date – disaster. A friend did not come to an important celebration for you – disaster. Colleagues criticized your work – disaster. And so on and the like ..
“Everything should be as I want” – what such an installation leads to, I described above. And overly exaggerated, it can lead to a real tragedy – murder or suicide.
“Others are to blame for all my troubles”-a person with such conviction is sure that nothing depends on him, but depends on someone else or any circumstances, he personally cannot affect anything; He puts forward overstated requirements for others, and the reason for this is his immaturity. Such a person is fixed on grievances, claims to someone, hatred and anger.
“Because of him, the evening is spoiled”, “If it weren’t for her, I would have achieved more”, “If I had money (car, apartment), I would definitely be able to …”, “He constantly acts on my nerves”, “Not me, but such life” is all from the same opera. In fact, such thoughts slow down our development, not allowing the life of the life that we dream about.